Like with everything in life, hindsight is a wonderful thing. As each year passes by we all learn and grow, wishing that we could tell our younger selves all the wisdom we’ve picked up along the way. For me, this is the most true when it comes to my chronic pain. I feel incredibly lucky to be in a place now where I’ve learnt how to manage and live alongside my pain, but this wasn’t always the case. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that it’s going to be okay, and give her all the knowledge I have now. I can’t do that, but what I can do is give you a little bit of what I’ve learnt along the way.
1. Fighting against your pain will only cause you more harm.
For the first few years that I lived with chronic pain I spent the whole time fighting against it, rather than trying to work alongside it. I would push my body too far on a daily basis, believing that if I just continued my life as normal, it would all go away. We know that learning to live alongside our pain can be one of the best tools though, instead of trying to ignore it and get on as usual. It took me a good few years to realise that I could enjoy far more of life if I learnt to recognise my pain, listen to my body and rest when needed! Continuing on as normal might seem like a great idea in the moment, but for me the time spent in bed afterwards erased any enjoyment I might have had from continuing on.
2. Pain is more than just a physical response.
As a chronic pain patient I quickly grew tired of people telling me that I needed to look after my mind in order to manage my pain. I’d been told before that my pain was all in my head, an experience you might recognise, but as a result I turned away from the idea that my mental health had any part to play in my chronic pain management. I soon learnt though that looking after your mind doesn’t mean the pain is in your head, for me dealing with my psychological needs has probably helped me the most in terms of learning to live alongside my pain. Living with chronic pain can affect every area of your life, so to live the best life you can, you have to nurture every area.
3. Pacing is not perfect, but it can be helpful.
I remember the first time pacing was introduced to me by an occupational therapist, and it was done so in a very regimented way. Time limits were set on my activities, with no room left to account for spontaneity or the way in which my day can suddenly change, and it really put me off. It took me a few years after that to engage in pacing again, and when I did I quickly realised that it wasn’t pacing that was the problem, it was the technique we were using. Listening to friends living with chronic pain helped me to build up a pacing plan that was unique to my life, it took into account things that I wasn’t willing to compromise on, and areas where I could do with a little more rest. Not everything in my life can be paced, but in the areas where it is possible, it has helped massively.
4. You’re not alone.
Living with chronic pain, a chronic illness or a long term health condition can feel incredibly lonely at times. Particularly as a young adult experiencing chronic pain, for a long time I felt like I was the only young person in the world experiencing what I was. My friends didn’t really understand, and that was hard, but as lonely as you might feel, I promise you aren’t doing this alone. Finding a community that is going through the same things that you are is so incredibly important, and it was through social media that I found other young adults who were dealing with chronic pain and illness, dealing with social isolation and their life plans being disrupted. Together we shared in the ups and downs, supporting each other in achieving our goals and offering a listening ear when things didn’t go so well. Other people’s support and understanding has been invaluable to me.
5. You are stronger than you think.
People quite often remark about how strong I must be, to be living in constant pain alongside my other health conditions, and in the past I’ve been quick to brush that off. I’d tell people that anyone in my position would be strong, because you’re forced to in order to get through the day, and whilst that might have some truth in it, it’s also important to give yourself credit. Yes, I am strong. I have been through a lot, and I’ll go through even more, and I’m proud of myself everyday for it.
What do you wish you knew earlier about living with chronic pain?
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